A Very Nollywood Christmas

The holidays are infamous for a variety of things – gifts, decorations, peppermint flavored everything, Mariah Carey’s career resurgence, and marathons upon marathons of Christmas movie classics. Now, Nollywood doesn’t really have any Christmas classics so we decided to re-imagine some American classics with some of our fave Nollywood actors. Here’s what a very Nollywood Christmas would look like:

 

Home Alone

Even though Kevin is played by one person, Akin & Pawpaw (Osita Iheme & Chinedu Ikedieze) are a packaged deal. This always up-to-no-good duo would be the perfect ones to exact such petty revenge (imagine a garri themed boobytrap) against the burglars attempting to rob their home. The thieves, of course, would have to be played the hee-larious Mr. Ibu (John Okafor) and the equally funny, Francis Odega.

Elf

Imeh Bishop would be perfect to play Buddy, the hilariously innocent human who thinks he’s an elf. The only problem is, Bishop is actually elf sized so the people of Lagos (instead of New York) actually believe him when he tells them he’s an elf. In fact, to make this a true Nollywood movie, it will be later revealed that Bishop is the product of his father’s affair with a lady elf – thus explaining his height.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

I know, I know, he’s not Nollywood but Korede Bello is the youngest artist signed to Marvin records and I imagine at some point he may feel like an outcast, much like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. Of course, there’s no one better to play Rudolph’s benefactor than Don Jazzy – the ultimate Father Christmas.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

While we’re on the musician tip, who better to play Charlie Brown than Olamide Bado? Okay, it might be an unexpected casting, but Olamide and YBNL nation would make such a perfectly razz peanuts gallery, and the possibilities for new titles are endless: “An Olamide Baddoh Christmas”, “Wo! A YBNL Christmas”, “A Bad Baddoh Baddest Christmas” etc.

The Preacher’s Wife

Now Y’all know he HAD to include the most trending newlywed couple in this iconic, Christmas romance film. Adesua Etomi and Blossom Chukwujekwu would star as the married Pastor and choir mistress on the brink of a failing marriage when an angel in the form of Banky W comes along to help the pastor, help the church and community. However, Banky W just might give Adesua that heavenly type love in the process *wink wink nudge nudge*

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Odunlade Adekola is a popular Yoruba film actor who is best known for his hilariously shady reactions and just general extraness, which have launched him into meme celebrity status time and time again. So who better to play the ever petty Grinch than the meme king himself. Especially since he has the PERFECT side-eye to be the Grinch who stole Christmas.

The Christmas Carol

In The Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge is a businessman known for his greed, pettiness, scowl, and lack of general Christmas spirit. Who better to play a rude and petty businessman than Osuofia (Nkem Owoh)? Instead of, “Bah! Humbug!” his catchphrase will be, “I go chop your dollar.” I mean, really, just imagine Scrooge with an Igbo red cap (okpu agu) instead of his iconic nightcap.

Written by:

African Ceniphile. Aspiring filmmaker. Stout Iyan and Efo riro advocate

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